Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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