I'm lost and stupid without you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
