Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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