i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
