help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
