Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
