Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
