Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
