i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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