Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize