You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
