and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
