I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
