I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
