I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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