hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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