cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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