and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
