What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm passing your future prison.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
