i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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