She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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