dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
