What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
