the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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