Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I will die if light touches me.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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