I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
