Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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