I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
