so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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