didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
