Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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