I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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