Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize