As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
