I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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