how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
