after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
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It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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