I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
