So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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