yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
