My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
