i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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