I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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