I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize