thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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