I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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