If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize