office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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