I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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