he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I need mimosas to revive my soul
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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