it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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