I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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