....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
