i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
