Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
