Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
