Where are you?
In a non slutty way
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
