party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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