her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
