so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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